Tuesday, May 2, 2017

The Healthy Specimen

I am Officer Dave Ripley with the Uptown Police Force, how can we help? Well, my family hasn't spoken to me in over a month and I'd like to know if they are okay. First I would like to know you yourself are alright; can you quickly tell me what what street we are on? Yes. What street? Doty. Good, what city are we in? Middleton. Okay - and do you have any feelings of harming yourself or others? Honestly yes, sometimes. Why has your family not been speaking to you? Because of some things I said on Facebook. I see; you seem agitated right now, may we take your blood pressure? Sure. Do you have a job? I work at Pro Pro Health Surance Pro. What do you do? Sales associate. Your blood pressure readings are quite high, we should probably run a blood work, it is almost instant. Go ahead. Any friends at work? No, I just landed the job. How do you like it? It's good. How often do you take sick leave? Almost never. Hmm, these levels are abnormal too; we should go to the hospital for a more thorough test. I really don't want to be poked and prodded at the hospital, I'd like to talk about my family. Well, you called 911 and told us that you want to harm yourself, so we cannot leave you; you should come to the hospital for a more thorough screening. All right, let's go.

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